I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
