guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Randomize
