ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
he's single and there are thong briefs.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
