i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
my sisters under your porch take her home
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Randomize
