i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Congratulations! We have a period
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