ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Randomize
