This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Randomize