dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
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