Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize