You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
