Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Randomize
