he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Blood and glitter go together right?
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
