I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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