everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
