just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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