i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Randomize
