You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
True strength comes from lack of pants
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
