you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
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