I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
