I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
