check it out our google latitudes are spooning
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I have feelings that need drinking.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
