The brown eye won't let me do that either.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
