ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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