I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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