Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
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