She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Randomize
