I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
