We should be called the Road Head Warriors
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
