well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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