70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
It's blow job season.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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