Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
