I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
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