haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
