You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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