Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(602): View more from Arizona

I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.

(623): View more from Arizona

Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.

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(541): View more from Oregon

Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]

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(612): View more from Minnesota

I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.

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(404): View more from Georgia

I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked

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(682): View more from Texas

I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.

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