he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Randomize
