yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
