When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
