If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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