Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
