watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
