Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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