Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Randomize
