tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Randomize
