she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Oh god it's open bar.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
