so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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