Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
