This girl is more easily done than said...
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
