so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
wow bdsm is so cute
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
