remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
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