spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Randomize
