At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
I need moral support for this bender
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Randomize
