The brown eye won't let me do that either.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize