i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Randomize
