That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
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