i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
