how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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