Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
