I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Randomize
